The Top Ten Reasons John Boehner is Always Crying

John Boehner Crying on TV 

We have all seen John Boehner shedding copious tears on TV recently and wondered why he is bawling like a baby. Well here are the 10 most likely reasons.


10. When asked about John Boehner, Miss Lisabeth Lyons, his alleged mistress, asked "John who?"


9. He was worried billionaires were not going to receive another tax cut.


8. He was informed that Latino babies born in this country were indeed citizens and would be eligible to vote when they turned 18.


7. The oil lobby  gave him only a dozen free tickets to the Sugar Bowl.


6. A pharmaceutical lobbyist refused to write anymore legislative bills for him.


5. His country club buddies insisted that a 21 foot putt was not a "give-me."


4. The TSA would not give him a copy of his full-body scan.


3. His wife sold his tanning bed on eBay.


2. Sarah Palin did not invite him on her hunting trip to kill and slaughter a caribou.


1. Dick Cheney did invite him to go bird hunting.