Smart Devices

A Smart Vacuum Cleaner?

My daughter is smarter than I am, and I am okay with that.
Then I bought a computer that is smarter than I am. A little disturbing.
We now have a automobile that is smarter than I am. Scary.
Our 2-year old TV and its remote control are 
definitely smarter than I am. Embarrassing.
And I just purchased a phone that is smarter than I am. 
Why didn't I keep my old stupid phone?
I mean, having something in common,  my stupid phone and I 
were able to communicate.


And that is why we are not getting a dog. 

I know damn well that the dog will be smarter than I am.

But, on the other hand, there is Smart Water. That's ridiculous.

I must be smarter than water.

I hear tell that there are now smart showers and toilets. 
Now that's not right; a smart toilet? I definitely don't want to know 
what it does. But I suspect it does know "shit from shinola."


Recently I was told some genius is selling "smart bras."
God knows, I have nothing against bras,
but why does someone need a smart bra? 
What is the difference between a smart bra and and a dumb bra?
Does a smart bra unclasp itself when one says "open sesame"?


I recently saw one of those robotic vacuum cleaners,
 but although it is smarter than I am, it did not have enough common 
sense to get out of the way when I dropped a 100 lb. anvil on it.
I suggested applying that same anvil test to our other smart things,
but my wife suggested I visit an institution -- 
and it was not an institution of higher learning