A Variant View of US Open at Merion

After Buck and I played golf this morning, we went to Nick's Diner for lunch -- where else? two old coots are not going to venture into a new place that has a "California menu" which means that they manage to include avocados in every offering, be it eggs or sandwiches.  Not that we have anything against California, but Buck and I want to know what we are eating and "Paradise Delight" is not going to do it; we are not going to eat papayas and pomegranates for breakfast or lunch -- that's not what normal people do.

While waiting on the first tee at 8:00 AM, at Ottawa Park Golf Course, I made the mistake of asking Buck what he thought about yesterday's conclusion to the  US Open at Merion Golf Club. "No way," he said. "I'm not discussing that while we're playing. I'm tired of you trying to get into my head and getting me off my game."

"Believe me," I said. "Being in your head is the last place I'd want to be. I'd be horrified  by the echoes as a few simple thoughts rattled around in that empty cavern."

"Nice try," he said. "You and your juvenile jibes are not distracting me from from my game. I am now putting on my game face, and I'll not be distracted."

"Your game face looks exactly like your regular face, except it has the "deer-in-the-headlights" look that Phil Michelson had yesterday."

Needless to say; I had gone too far. On the next eighteen holes, Buck deprived me of my money and what little golf dignity I once possessed.

After we were seated at "our table" and  our waitress, Sara, had taken our orders, I asked. "Now is it okay to discuss the 2013 US Open Golf Tournament or are you having unresolved issues?" (I love to throw that psycho-speak babble at Buck.)

"The only issue I have is getting something to eat. And, now that I think about it, why didn't we go to a tavern where I could also get an adult beverage with my lunch?"

"It's one o'clock," I said. "You can have an 'Arnold Palmer.'"

"That's not a drink. If you doubt me, ask John Boehner."

"Okay,"  I said. "Now I want to hear your opinion of this year's US Open."

"I'm glad you asked," he said. "The US Open is run by a bunch of dweebs who have no connection with the real world. They think they are doing golf a favor by setting up a course in such a way that the world's best golfers cannot break par. What's the point? I can set up a course in my grandfather's pasture field with the same result. It's no big deal to let the rough grow two feet tall. And the greens. It doesn't take a great 'architect' to design washboard greens that are unputtable. And then they place the pins next to a monster sand trap or a water hazard."

"Perhaps," I said. "The USGA is trying to protect history. Maybe they don't want modern players destroying the accomplishments of the old timers."

"But, what they are doing is similar to track-and-field officials lengthening the 100 yard dash by ten yards. It's idiotic. If Bobby Jones needed a one iron to hit his 'iconic' shot and Justin Rose can do the same with a four iron, why not recognize Mr. Rose's achievement or acknowledge the improvement  in golf equipment?"

"Well," I said. "At least the USGA is encouraging golfers to play at a faster pace. That has to be a good thing."

"Right. They run all those commercials to encourage duffers like you and me to play faster, but they have done very little to force the pros to pick up the pace.  If you and I spent as much time as the pros to decide on a shot or a or a putt, our buddies would never play with us."

"True," I said, "but at least NBC moves from player to player so that viewers are always seeing golf."

"Glad you mentioned NBC. They should be banned from televising sports, especially golf. How many times do they have to show us old photos of Bobby Jones' one iron shot? How many times are they going to refer to it as 'iconic'? And, using those damn wicker baskets on  steel poles instead of flags on  flexible pin markers -- what's with that? If that had been such a good idea, every course in the country would have them. Yet NBC has to do a story about them every thirty minutes."

"At least NBC has a knowledgeable commentator in Johnny Miller," I offered.

"And he's another reason NBC should not be permitted to televise the US Open. He may have been an excellent player in his day, but his know-it-all attitude is difficult to take. We don't give a damn how he would have played a shot back in the day. Let us see how Justin, Phil, Rory, or Bubba plays a particular shot. If we want history, we can read a book."

As I drove home from Nick's, I was questioning why I had spent several hours watching the Open. At the time, I thought I was enjoying it, but after listening to Buck, it seemed much less entertaining.

Obamaphobia and US Health Care

"Johnny Boehner and the House Republicans continue to hold irrelevant votes to undo Obamacare. The votes are meaningless but they continue to waste time and money pulling off these ridiculous stunts," said Buck as he pounded on the table at Nick's Diner.

"And then," he continued, "there are the Republican governors who are opting out of the federally funded expansion of Medicaid. Easy for them since they have top-of-the-line health insurance. Too bad for the poorest people in their states. And these rejectionists are governors of some of the poorest states in the country. One would think that any governor would want to improve the lives of the state's citizens, but not these GOP governors. They suffer from Obamaphobia."

"Can't say I'm familiar with that disease," I said.

"Well it's been around since 2008," Buck continued. "It is characterized by an intense and irrational fear of anything pertaining to President Obama. If the President proposes something, the sufferers of this disease automatically oppose it. If Obama offered to give these phobic governors a brand-new Cadillac, they would refuse it, either because they would fear it would explode the first time they turned the key or because they would imagine that Obama would somehow benefit."

"Sounds like that saying about cutting off your nose to spite your face," I said.

"Exactly. But, in this case,  the problem is the GOP governors don't suffer; it's the millions of poor who will pay the price."

"Speaking of price. Can we afford Obamacare? How are we going to pay for it?" I asked.

"Do your homework, Sonny Boy, before you ask something stupid like that. You're beginning to sound as uninformed as Michele Bachmann. The truth of the matter is that most of the experts who have studied it have concluded that Obamacare will save money. Your Republican friends talk about the devastating deficit, but when presented with Obamacare and its money-saving effects, they turn their backs. And that is one of the corollaries of Obamaphobia. Those Republican politicians only started talking about the deficit after Obama was elected. When George W. was president they were willing to spend money like drunken sailors."

At this point, our waitress removed our plates, but Buck was not finished venting. "We are the wealthiest nation in the world and we pay far more for health care than any other nation. Therefore you'd think we provide the best health care in the world. But the sad fact is that we don't. Other countries provide much better care at a significantly lower cost. Go figure."

"I don't have an answer for that, but I do know you are correct about the cost," I said. "Two months ago I was having chest pains and went to a hospital emergency room. After doing a whole series of tests, they concluded that my heart was fine, but they insisted on admitting me overnight 'for observation,' and then the next morning they gave me a stress test. It showed no problems, and I was released that afternoon after being in the hospital and ER for less than 24 hours. Several weeks later I received a bill that was nearly $17,000. Fortunately, my insurance company paid all but $50, but I'm still amazed by the total charge."

"Not to be too sarcastic," Buck said, "the doctor who had you admitted probably got a bonus. He was making money for the large corporation that owns the hospital, and the more ER 'admits' he chalks up, the better for him."

"Nothing like the corporate profit-motive to corrupt an industry based on noble objectives."

Can't-do Republicans

The United States has always been a progressive, "can-do" nation. Presented with a problem, we will work to solve it. Our ancestors saw the vast frontier as an opportunity and moved forward, building canals and railroads. No obstacle was insurmountable. We have always moved forward whether it was with electricity, interstate highways, space travel, medical advances or computer technology. Our ethic was progressive, and our attitude was: "We can do it." We did not turn and run when confronted by malaria, polio, cancer or AIDS; we became engaged in efforts to defeat and eradicate these dangers. The "can-do" attitude is entwined into our national fabric.

At least, that has always been the case. Unfortunately in recent years one of our national political parties is becoming the "can't-do" party. To them, progress is anathema. When confronted with a problem, unlike Americans of the past, this new breed of Republican is of the opinion that "it can't be done."

"Can't-do" Republicans are telling us that this nation can't:

• support job creation programs
• keep its commitment to its retired workers
• care for its elderly and sick
• provide a substantive education for its youth
• promote science and research
• care for its veterans
• facilitate everyone's right to vote
• establish a just minimum wage
• provide emergency assistance to hurricane victims
• require background checks for gun owners
• fill vacancies on federal court benches
• allow scientists to pursue unfettered stem cell research 
• maintain and rebuild the country's infrastructure

It has been said that if you are not moving forward, you are moving backward. These "Can't-do" Republicans are definitely trying to take us backward  while the rest of the world is making a concerted effort to move forward.