Cowboys, Indians (Redskins) -- All things Football

Disrespected Native American

My old friend, Buck, returned to Toledo after spending most of the last six months helping his daughter and son-in-law build a new home in Alpena, Michigan. Now that we are starting a New Year, I thought it was time to renew our ritual of having breakfast together at Nick's Diner. Today when I arrived, Buck was already seated and Sarah, our waitress, had two hot coffees on the table.

I was greeted with, "Look what the cat drug in."

"Nice seeing you too, Buck. I hope you enjoyed the lump of coal Santa brought you. It was more than you deserved, but oh well, Santa has a soft spot for old, crusty curmudgeons."

"Forget the niceties. Did you see that Detroit/Dallas game Sunday?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued, "When the officials picked up that flag and ignored an obvious pass interference, they handed to game to Dallas on a silver platter. That Pete Morelli should be banned from officiating for life, and in case there is reincarnation, the next life as well. It's because of things like this that so many think the NFL is fixed."

Hoping to end his rant, I feebly offered, "Speaking of fixes, do you think the NCAA has fixed things with the new play-off system?"

"The NCAA is so messed up, they can't tie their shoes and chew gum at the same time, but this play-ff system is a step in the right direction. Just imagine, if we still had the old system, Alabama and Florida State would be playing for the so-called National Championship! How wrong would that be? Alabama would probably win such a game, and we would have to listen to the talking heads on ESPN sing the praises of the SEC for another year."

At this point, Sarah brought us our breakfasts, and asked, "Don't you guys have anything else to talk about? It's always football."

"Well, football is the ultimate 'reality show' for couch jocks. It's the last frontier," I said waxing eloquent. "Where else can you see the Cowboys do battle with the Indians, aka Redskins?"

"There you go again, using racial slurs. Washington needs to eliminate the name, Redskins." Buck said.

"I'm guessing you are not talking about potatoes," Sarah laughed.

"Very funny." Buck said. "How would you like your heritage to be disrespected?" 

"I'm a waitress. I know a thing or two about disrespect."

"Exactly, why do we tolerate Native Americans being referred to as Redskins when we would not tolerate other racial and ethnic slurs?  How would you feel about the New York Jets being the NY Wops, or the San Franscisco 49ers being the San Francisco Chinks?"

Getting into it, I continued, "Or the Carolina Rednecks, the Cincinnati Krauts, or the Denver Gringos?"

"What about the Atlanta Crackers, the New York Heebs, or maybe the San Diego Wetbacks?" Sarah added.

"The New England Micks? The Miami Chicos? The list could go on and on, but the point is a football franchise should not disrespect Native Americans or any other ethnic group. Period." 

"Well, now that you solved that problem," Sarah said as she left the checks. "Why don't you BOFs finish your breakfast and free up this table for some nice customers."

"What the hell is a BOF?" asked Buck. On the back of his check, I wrote the words: Boring Old Fart.