Wastin' Away in Ohio

If you're from Ohio, you know that your state is home to some great art museums in Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Toledo. You also are aware of the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, and the Wright-Patterson Air Museum near Dayton You may even be aware of COSI (Center for Science and Industry) in Columbus and Toledo, but many Buckeyes are not aware of the other many and various museums that call Ohio home.

Toledo Museum of Art

Even if you are living a full,  busy and eventful life, you might want to carve out some time to attend Ohio's major museums of art and possibly some of the other above-mentioned museums and halls of fame.

On the other hand, you may choose to pass on some of the lesser-known Ohio museums. I guess what I'm saying is: if you have half of a day to waste, maybe you should forget about some of these and instead get out the Monopoly board and teach the young-uns the basics of ruthless capitalism.

On the other hand, if you are retired but not too tired, if you're looking for reasons to get out of the house, and if you can't afford to take a real trip to St. Petersburg, you may want to gas up the Ford, pack a lunch, and take a day trip to one of these Ohio museums.

Here they are in no particular order:

The National Construction Equipment Museum located in Bowling Green. This, of course, is an outdoor museum, and I suspect you and your spouse could eat your lunch in the cab of a road grader. Who is going to object?  After all, you'll be the only ones there.

If that's too much excitement for you, there is the Pencil Sharpener Museum in Logan. If you go, take all those little pencils you stole from various golf courses and get those babies sharpened, not to put too fine a point on it. (Give me a break, sometimes I can't help myself.)

Those of us feeling particularly pious may want to visit the Museum of Divine Statues in Lakewood. I think that when Catholics remodeled their churches after Vatican II, someone gathered up these statues and took them to Lakewood. Joan of Arc being consumed by flames. Jesus with his heart on the outside of his tunic. St. Patrick chasing snakes. Save your lunch for later in the day.

If the Missus and you own a motorcycle, you may want to consider a trip to Pickerington's Motorcycle Hall of Fame. You can check out the Harley hogs, Indians, and Victorys of yesteryear as well as a variety of newer Japanese two-wheelers. Speaking of two-wheelers, the Bicycle Museum of America in New Bremen features all the neat bicycles that your parents refused to buy for you when you were too young to appreciate the value of a dollar.

If you happen to be in Hilliard with time on your hands, you should reevaluate your life or visit the Early Television Foundation and Museum. Presumably, they have working models of TVs from the 1920s. For kids who watched test patterns (you know who you are), you might enjoy a grainy screenshot of Howdy Doody and creepy Buffalo Bob.

In Cincinnati, one can attend the American Sign Museum which is a shrine to American advertising. I think what happened was, back in the day, Ladybird Johnson launched a campaign to beautify our highways, and somebody took down all of these signs and bestowed them upon Cincinnati. Therefore, Mail Pouch, Howard Johnson's and Phillips 66 will live on.

If you happen to be near Case Western Reserve, attending the History of Contraception is a possibility. Please don't take the children. It's not a good idea to show our offspring all the things human beings have done over the years to not have children.

More child appropriate is the Carousel Museum in Sandusky or the Lego Museum in Bellaire. And, in Cleveland, you can take them to the house (now a museum sans Ralphie) in which the movie, Toy Story, was filmed.

There are more, but if you have attended all of these, you may have a problem. Perhaps you should stay home and self medicate or go to the Senior Center and cheat in a game of Rummy.