In an earlier blog, I offered Primary Mitt some suggestions for possible running mates (Rubio, Portman etc.), but now that he has used his Etch-a-Sketch and has become General Election Mitt, I am offering a new list of possibilities. Back then, I suggested Mitt had to avoid anyone with too much personality in order to avoid revealing his lack thereof, but these are desperate times for Mitt. He has to think outside the box and take some chances. Therfore, I humbly offer the following candidates for Mitt's consideration:
Antonin Scalia : This politician should never have been appointed to the Supreme Court. He is a politician; not a justice. He has been using the Supreme Court to espouse his Republican agenda, all of which would be appropriate if he were Mitt's choice for his vice presidential running mate. And then, of course, President Obama could then appoint a real justice to the Supreme Court. As for his health care insurance, Mr. Scalia could take his present government-paid program with him. He enjoys that insurance; it's just that he doesn't want the rest of us to have it.
Donald Trump: Together, Mitt and Donald would be the ideal vanity ticket. Mitt's judicious use of Grecian Formula on his hair makes the statement, but Donald outdoes him with the died , combed-over look. Other than his vanity and his hair-do, it is doubtful that Donald would bring anything else to the ticket. The Republicans don't need another arrogant, out-of-touch billionaire.
Tim Tebow: What an opportunity for Mitt to attract those Christian Fundamentalists who have failed to warm up to him. Who can resist a photo of Tim in uniform kneeling on the field and praying that God will help him vanquish his opponents. In addition, he claims to be a virgin. That's a great talking point. He could possibly be the first virginal VP candidate. There are also rumors that he is gay -- an appeal to the LGBT voters. In addition, if he and Mitt were the only two people in the room, Mitt could justifiably claim to be the smartest man in the room. But, you say, Tim is not qualified to be the President of the United States. I submit to you that Republicans have not worried about that in the past. Consider George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. The only problem I see with Tim is that he "dissed" Notre Dame Football. That may cost him two or three votes, but the bishops will campaign for anyone as long as it's not President Obama.
Marty Golden: Since the Republicans really need to do something about their "woman problem," Mitt may need a running-mate to mitigate the GOP's blatant attacks on women's rights and health care issues. Perhaps, Republican New York State Senator, Marty Golden is the man for the job. He wants to hold a taxpayer-funded event for his female constituents called "Posture, Deportment and Feminine Presence." He promises to teach women "the art of feminine presence," which includes tips on how to "sit, stand and walk like a model." and "walk up and down a stair elegantly." Rather than pass the Fair Pay Act to assist women in the workplace, the GOP wants to teach women a course in 1950's etiquette with emphasis on walking like a model. What a great idea. I wonder why no one has done this before.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer: I personally think this could be Mitt's out-of-the-park home run. The GOP is anti-woman, anti-science, anti-sex. In one bold stroke, the New Mitt could turn that around. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a Sorbonne-trained psychologist and sexologist and host of several radio and TV sex advice shows, could change the GOP image overnight. In addition to being attractive to Jewish voters, she would probably be appealing to the core of the Republican Party which is obsessed with sex and what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms. The Wall Street Journal once described Dr. Ruth as a "cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse." Can't beat that. An intelligent, highly educated woman with instant name recognition who would be quite capable of serving as President! Perhaps the Romney camp could use a tag line she used to sign off her sex show, "Get some."
I realize the gun-toting Tea Party fanatics would like to nominate Ted Nugent; but, although Mitt likes Ted's support and money, he can't put such a nut case on the GOP ticket. Such a move would be worse than McCain's disastrous choice of Sarah Palin.
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