Reasons Republicans Want to Read U.S. Constitution Aloud in the House

One would have thought the Republicans would want to roll up their sleeves and get to work now that they control the U.S. House of Representatives. Not so. They wanted to spend their first full day at work in 2011 by reading the U.S. Constitution aloud to each other.Yesterday they took an oath to uphold the Constitution. (Well most of them did; two Republican congressmen from Texas missed taking their oath because they were attending a fundraiser. First things first.) But the question is:  are they suggesting they took an oath yesterday to uphold a document they had not read?  Most of us plebeians would have thought  we should read the document before taking the oath. But that's us, stupid plebeians that we are. They take the oath and read the document the next day.

No matter, they spent the day reading it aloud to each other, and inquiring minds are asking; why? Here is a list of some of the possible answers:

1. because some of them cannot read.

2. because they didn't know what else to do until Happy Hour.

3. because some slept through their eighth-grade government class and don't know what it says.

4. because they needed to kill time until the lobbyists provide them with an agenda for this session.

5. because they did not want John Boehner to confuse the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence as he has done in the past.

6. because many of them thought the Constitution was established to promote the interests of large corporations. It must have been a shock to read that one of the purposes was "to promote the general Welfare."

7. because they forgot the 14th Amendment reads, "all person born or naturalized in the United States, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside." (What? Those Latino babies will be voters?)

8. because they needed time to fill out  the forms to claim their free Federal Congressional Health Insurance.

9. because they needed time to devise ways of repealing health benefits for 40 million Americans.

10. because, after two years of obstructionism, they don't know what governing means.

Not to be forgotten, they want to reduce the federal budget; but how much of taxpayer money did they spend today reading the Constitution to each other? You don't want to know.