You Might Be a Tea Party Follower, If....

American Tea Party 

You might be a Tea Party follower,

if you named your daughter Bristol.

if you claim to be an Independent and have never voted for a Democrat.

if you have never gone hunting, but belong to the NRA.

if you do go hunting and your game of choice is caribou.

if you have an autographed copy of Going Rogue.

if you actually read parts of the book.

if you believe Sarah Palin actually wrote the book.

if you fear immigrants.

if you"dabbled into witchcraft."

if you think tax cuts for billionaires are going to reduce the federal budget.

You might be a Tea Party follower,

if you refer to Mexican-Americans as "spics."

if you loved the GOP's "Southern Strategy."

if you, Chilean Dictator, Augusto Pinochet, and Sharon Angle want to privatize Social Security.

if you think Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, is a stellar justice.

if you spend weekends as a Nazi re-enactor.

if you and Christine O'Donnell do not realize the1st Amendment provides for separation of Church and State. 

if you and Sonny Thomas of Tea Party Express think Muslim Americans worship a "monkey god." 

if you do think U.S. Senators should not be elected by the people of their state.

if one of your first dates "occurred on a satanic altar"  ala Christene O'Donnell.

if you can see Russia from your kitchen window.

You might be a Tea Party follower,

if you believe Fox News is "fair and balanced."

if you think Texas should secede from the United States and become a sovereign state.

if you agree that corporations and labor unions are really persons just like yourself.

if you agree with Sharon Angle that a 13-yr-old rape-incest victim should make a "lemon situation into lemonade."

if you and Rand Paul agree that a private business owner should be allowed to discriminate.

if you read George W. Bush's Decision Points and bought his story.
if you and Jan Brewer, Arizona governor, think police should be able to detain anyone who does not have proof of their immigration status with them.
if you think political donations should be secret.
if you are an old, white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant male.


If ten or more of the 30 conditions above apply to you, you are probably a Tea Party Follower
If  fifteen or more apply, you are a Tea Party Disciple.
If twenty or more apply, you are a Tea Party Leader.
If twenty five or more apply, you are a Palin "Family Member" (but not in the family's last will and testament).