Advise for Herman Cain

Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain

Since Herman Cain ( Republican presidential candidate) appears to lack a credible defense against numerous charges of sexual harassment, he wants us to believe these allegations were invented by his enemies. At first he told us the Rick Perry campaign was generating these charges. Then a day or two later, he changed his mind and informed us that the old Republican boogeyman, the "Liberal Press," was out to get him.


Although Herman has not asked for my advise, I will give it anyway:


1) Continue to blame others for your problems. In addition to Rick Perry and the damned liberal media, you can blame the gays and lesbians, Al Gore and the environmental nuts, the Occupy-Wall-Street protesters, the illegal aliens who got over the wall without being fried, Mitt Romney and the Mormon Underground, along with those slimy, sleazy socialists, And of course it is quite fashionable within the Republican Party to blame all the ills of the world on the Muslims.


2) Seek out the advise of Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas.He knows a thing or two about sexual harassment. I am confident that he will suggest that you attack those whiny women who say that you tried to get in their skirts. Better yet, get some congressional stooges to launch an investigation and attack on your behalf. Never mind that such things are "red herrings."  You have to admit that it worked out pretty well for Clarence Thomas. He has a life-time salary (plus perks) just for sitting there.


3) Consult Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's exiting  Prime Minister. He seemingly made a career of sexual harassment and is proud of it.


3) Blame your alleged groping on the modern state of morals that encourages women to participate in the work place and tempt good Christian men to seek the forbidden fruit. Shame on those hussies!


4) Convince Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin to issue statements saying that you have never groped either of them and, that being the case, they could not conceive of you groping other women.


5) And if all this fails, "man up" and explain why your employer paid many thousands of dollars to make these allegations go away.


Herman, just to be clear, I do not expect to be paid a consulting fee for this advice