Fatwas and Anathemas

Fatwa

A report making the rounds of the internet is that a Muslim cleric "somewhere in Europe" has issued a Fatwa prohibiting Muslim women from touching bananas and cucumbers because their resemblance to a male penis might cause these women to think of sex. If Muslim women wish to eat either, a male family member is to cut up the offending items into small pieces, and the women then can partake of the forbidden foods.


There is a question as to the authenticity of this Fatwa. but it has caused Muslim bloggers to search out other verified Fatwas that leave one scratching one's head. For example, "A man can work with a woman to whom he's not a brother, father, uncle, or son, if he drinks her breast milk first." (The Daily Beast, Asra Q. Nomani, 12/12/2011)


No offense to you fundamentalists, but whether you are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish, you all seem to be quite similar. Given that phenomenon, I am wondering whether fundamentalist Jews and Christians can issue Fatwas. 


In the 2011 GOP presidential primary elections, we have several Republican candidates who are openly groveling to secure the fundamentalist Christian vote. Now that Herman Cain's shenanigans have forced him to remove himself, we still have Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum  trying to out-christian each other. Can they issue fatwas? Perhaps not; maybe the term, fatwa, should be reserved for Muslims. After all, it was their idea. So we need to find another word for these christian pontificators. I would suggest the word, "anathema" - a denunciation often involving a threat and frequently used in religious situations. Let the Christian fundamentalists issue "anathemas."


This Republican Troika (Bachmann, Perry, and Santorum) would issue general anathemas against gays and lesbians, Occupy-Wall-Street protesters, doctors who perform abortions, Mexican immigrants, and Socialists. In addition they would issue more precise ones against:


1. Wealthy Mormons offering $10K bets.
2. Black men who become U.S. Presidents.
3. Ron Paul who supported the right of gay couples to marry.
4. The Department of Education, the EPA, and........what's the third one?
5. The "country of Solynda," whenever Rick Perry discovers it.
6. Any one who supports the Afffodable Health Care Act.
7. Newt Gingrich because he sat in a love seat with Nancy Pelosi urging Congress to take action on climate change.
8. TLC network for airing a reality show about ordinary, patriotic American Muslims.
9. Those who have the audacity to suggest that Congress stop paying huge farm subsidies to millionaire farmers like the Bachmanns.
10.Those "wanton little waifs" (Limbaugh) receiving free school lunches.


I guess the bottom line is: Christians issuing anathemas is anothe way of describing fundamentalist "trash talk."