How Romney Gets His Kicks

For those who have tired of "The Fifty Shades of Romney" and "Romney Masters Etch-a-Sketch," I am offering a pleasant, albeit meaningless,  diversion. It's time we put behind  us the 328 changes of position Mitt has experienced. I mean, how many times can a man reinvent himself for political gain? We can't continue to beat him over the head with that. After all, give the man credit for being flexible. And his mendacity? Everybody lies at some point; and it's possible that Mitt and Paul Ryan are victims of CLS -- compulsive liar syndrome.

Let's give the man a break. It's time we focus on his "fun side."  His wife assures us that not only does he have a personality, he actually has a fun side. So let's take her word for it and concentrate on Funny Mitt. What does this guy do for a good time? Since he is a Mormon bishop I doubt that he kicks back with a six-pack of Budweiser and enjoys watching a football game with the guys. He probably doesn't play any three-on-three basketball; that's a little too "ethnic" for someone who wants to be called Mitt. He is not going to go skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee as did one of his GOP congressmen. And he is definitely not going to throw himself a hedonistic orgy as is the wont of Italy's right-wing Silvio Berlusconi.

Nonetheless,  Mitt does find ways to have fun -- at least it's fun in his world view. To get his kicks, Mitt Romney:

• counts his money
• fires his gardener
• reads the Book of Mormon
• ridicules public employees
• sails his yacht in the Cayman Islands (Good to be near your money.)
• searches the streets of Salt Lake looking for undocumented immigrants 
• observes a pirouette at a dressage competition (Nap time!)
• listens to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (More nap time.)
• re-applies Grecian Formula to his carefully styled hair
• watches his chauffeur wax one of the Cadillacs
• takes his dog out for a drive in the country
• shreds some documents from his days as governor of Massachusetts
• listens to an inebriated Clint Eastwood  talking to inanimate objects
• skips Eisenhower Dollars across the Green River
• drinks a Diet Coke (Sorry Mitt, Mormons can't have coffee or tea.)
• insults 47% of Americans -- a bunch of irresponsible slackers and moochers
• buys and shuts down companies for a profit
• watches videos of home evictions
• studies George W. Bush's economic and  foreign policy manuals (2 pages each)
• re-buries his Federal Income Tax returns (Seamus had dug them up.)
• politicizes U.S. ambassador's assassination
• discovers a new tax loop hole

And you thought Mitt didn't know how to enjoy himself.