NFL Cheerleaders?

San Diego Cheerleader

In the interest of full transparency, I have never been known to object to scantily-clad, curvacious nymphs cavorting in exotic and erotic performances. And also, let it be known that I embrace the sobriquet of "dirty old man" enthusiastically.

That having been said, I am beseeching the Cleveland Browns and the other five NFL teams who lack "cheerleaders" to continue to do so. Please! And I am not even speaking of the obvious exploitation of the female figure. I am saying dancing girls have no place in a football setting. (And, I am talking about American football, all of you soccer fans. If you soccer guys want cheerleaders, I can see your point --anything to make an interminably long,  low-scoring game tolerable.)

Sorry girls. You are all quite attractive in your seductive uniforms (or lack thereof), but you do not belong on a football field. If you can kick a fifty-yard field goal ( and I am confident some women can),  you belong. But on the other hand, please don't do what these NFL linesmen do to become gorillas ( and again, I suspect you could do that too,  if you were that stupid).

The combination of pro-football violence and sexy dancing is not a good mix -- unless  of course you happen to be of a sado-masochistic bent. And if that is the case, most football fans are not interested. 

Professional football began in 1920 with a bunch of guys in the Midwest who wanted to bang heads with another bunch of guys. For them,  it was a way to spend a Sunday afternoon away from their regular jobs -- steel workers or meat packers. They never intended it to be glamorous  or pretty. They just wanted to bang a few heads, get paid a few bucks, and have a beer afterward before going back to work on Monday morning.

Obviously,  the NFL has come a long way from those days; but although the league has initiated   a rule book longer than "War and Peace," the game is basically the same. It is a violent confrontation of two forces determined to overpower and annihilate the other. Intelligent and attractive women should not be a part of such masculine insanity. As my wife and other women in my life have said, "Professional football is  not much different from gladiators killing each other in the Roman Coliseum." And in case you are wondering, there were no cheerleaders in the Coliseum.

Personally, I enjoy professional football and attractive women displaying their assets, but not together. Therefore, I urge the Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, and Pittsburgh Steelers to refrain from the temptation to hire "cheerleaders."

Perhaps it is worth noting that all six of those teams without cheerleaders were original members of the NFL back in 1933 -- back in the day when football was football.