My No-Way-In-Hell Bucket List

After a recent tennis match, a discussion of bucket lists evolved -- not surprisingly since all four of us will never see seventy again. As we soon discovered, none of us shared the same items. What one really wanted to do was likely to be considered a waste of valuable time by the other three. Some items were idealistic: develop a vaccine for the Zika virus; others were mundane and slightly unrealistic; score a hole-in-one.

That conversation made me realize that there are many items I would never put on a bucket list and as a result I developed the following list, "My No Way in Hell Bucket List."  Rather than accentuate the positive, I choose to concentrate on the negatives, the things I want to avoid at all costs.

• run with the bulls at Pamplona
• attend the Westminster Dog Show
• go hunting with Dick Cheney
• climb Mt. Everest
• spend a night on Riker's Island
• attend a Sarah Palin Family reunion
• vacation in North Korea
• hike the Salkantay Trail to Machu Picchu           
• learn computer code
• bungee jump from a bridge over a river gorge

• play golf with Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Marco Rubio
• participate in the Ididirod
• have dinner with Marcel Marceau -- several reasons
• attend a NASCAR or WWW event
• participate in the "La Tomatina" in Brunoi, Spain
• go with my friend, Hussein, to a Trump rally
• attend a Ted Nugent concert -- hate should be free
• watch a cricket match from beginning to end
• get to Carnegie Hall -- I'm not into practicing
• live in Texas -- let me count the reasons

I'm sure most readers have a "No-Way-in Hell" bucket list, even if they have not actually formalized it. For example,my wife, Sandy, would probably add: attending a rattlesnake hunt. 

Those who wish to add to this list may do so in the comments section below.