Buck Explains "Chick-fil-A Effect"

I was wrong in thinking that Buck and I would be discussing the 2012 Olympics at our weekly breakfast at Nick's. I'm loving the Olympics. Although I spend most of my Olympic television time watching tennis, I am fascinated by almost everything, particularly water polo, archery, rowing, and of course women's beach volley ball. In addition, married to an ex-swimming coach, I spend an  inordinate amount of time watching swimming events.

With several badminton teams being disqualified  for "throwing" matches and the questions surrounding a teenage Chinese girl swimming laps faster than some of the top men, I was confident that I could get a "rant and rave" from Buck. Not to happen. Buck's concern with the Olympics was with the "weird"  opening ceremonies. "You know you're in trouble," he said, "when you are producing a visual spectacle, and you need commentators to explain why these children in their pajamas are jumping around on illuminated hospital beds. The visuals should speak for themselves without the assistance of commentators.  Not to mention a fake queen parachuting into the stadium. Only in England would people think that was cool."

"Well, I thought that was good British humor," I said. "But what about this 16 year-old Chinese girl, Ye Shiwen? "

"An old story. The Olympic establishment supports her now, but down the road they will find out how she cheated.  Remember the the East German women swimmers; remember the girl from Ireland? Eventually, years later, they discover the truth -- they cheated.."

Our waitress brought us our coffees and wanted to take our orders. I ordered my usual Boston Breakfast realizing that I would need to starve for two days to counteract the effects. Buck, on the other hand, told Sara to bring him anything that did not have chicken in it. "What about a cheese and ham omelet?" she suggested.

"Excellent," Buck said. "Just no damn chicken!"

"Wow. that was a little over the top," I said.

"Over the top, you say? I'll tell you what's over the top! The CEO of Chick-fil-A, Dan Cathy,  spending millions of dollars of his profits to attack the marriage of people who love each other. He's obviously made a fortune selling his stupid chicken, but that does not give him the right to tell other free American citizens who they can marry. These guys are hypocrites. They spend hours talking about freedom, but they want to dictate the parameters of that freedom for the rest of us. Thank God, our founding fathers were not anal types like these guys."

"Well, it's his money. I guess He can spend it as he chooses. The Robert's Supreme Court in Citizens United  pretty much said anyone can anonymously spend whatever they want to influence public opinion,."

"If you want to discuss Citizens United,  we'll be here for 78 hours, so I will spare you the explanation of why that was the most undemocratic decision of American history. In fact, John McCain would probably agree with me on that one.What I am trying to impress on you is that, although HATE speech is protected in this country, it requires non-haters to speak up in defense of the minorities. The Klu Klux Klan is permitted to espouse their racial hate, but that doesn't mean the rest of us should refrain from pointing out the idiocy of their position."

Sara served our breakfast plates and assured Buck there was no chicken in his omelet. As we we attacked our food, I pointed out to Buck, "Well there multitudes who disagree with you on this Chick-fil-A thing.  Former Republican presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, declared August 1st to be 'Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day,' and crowds across the country lined up at branches to demonstrate their support for Dan Cathy's anti-gay stance."

"Oh without a doubt. There are many frightened bigots and hate-mongers out there, and they can be mobilized almost instantly when the right code words are used. They were out in force Wednesday with the Palins and the Santorums wallowing in their fear and hate, but will they be flocking to Chick-fil-A branches two months from now, after the spotlights have been turned off? Of course not. In fact, sociologists should refer to this phenomenon as the "Chick-fil-A Effect." defined as an irrational outpouring of support for institutions who are in denial of the the evil they tolerate or encourage." Buck was beckoning Sara back to our table. ''Sara, I want you to witness the fact that I at this very hour on this very day was the first to identify and define 'The Chick-fil-A Effect.' You can tell your grandchildren that you were here on this momentous occasion."

"I guess," a bewildered Sara said, "I should be honored. But I don't know what you're talking about. And furthermore I would never go to a Chick-fil-A. We sell real, farm-raised, organic chicken here. I have no interest in your processed chicken."

"Good girl!" Buck said as he tried to pat her behind, but Sara knew her clientele and deftly stepped back and out of Buck's reach.

" So, Buck," I asked. "You think this is a sociological principle?

"Absolutely. It applies to all aspects of society -- politics, religion, business, sports, international affairs, you name it."

"Sports? I think you're pushing it."

"Two words --  Penn State. Need I say more?"

"Yes you do need to say more. Explain it to the idiot who agrees to meet you for breakfast once a week."

"Do I have to?  Well, here it is. Jerry Sandusky, a successful assistant coach and friend of head coach, Joe Paterno, gets caught abusing young boys in the football facility. According to the Freeh Report, Paterno and the University cover it up to protect 'the program.' When these findings are revealed, students and fans go to the streets in support of the number one Nittany Lion, Joe Paterno. But we will see the real "Chick-fil-A Effect" this fall. Although the football program has been sanctioned by the NCAA and the Big Ten, the fans will turn out in force for home games. Tickets will be in demand and hotel rooms and dinner reservations will be hard to come by. Win or lose, the fans will make a statement of their support and sports commentators will be gushing about the loyalty. But then, see what happens the following years when the team struggles with limited recruiting opportunities?  Then we will see the corolloray of the "Chick-fil-A Effect"-- the initial enthusiasm dissipates as reality sets in. Ticket prices will fall and hotel rooms will be plentiful."

"That may be," I agreed, " but we will have to wait and see."

Mitt Frightens Buck

New at Nick's Diner:

Today, when I met my friend, Buck, for our weekly breakfast at Nick's Diner, I realized that he was fired up and that I was going to be doing a lot of listening.

Sara, working her way through college as a waitress, came to take our orders. I ordered my usual "Boston Breakfast," the size of which requires a special permit in most civilized societies, while Buck ordered the "Whack-a-doodle Special" (previously  known as a "California Omelet" until Governor Kasich reminded Ohioans that Californians were all "Wack-a-doodles.) As Sara turned to place our orders, Buck tapped her on her forearm. Turning back, she asked, "Is there something else I can get you?"


"Yes," Buck said. "I have a question for you. Do you know where that attractive tee-shirt was manufactured?" Buck was pointing to her powder blue shirt emblazoned with yellow letters proclaiming "Nick's Diner."


Somewhat confused, Sara replied, "No Sir, I do not."


Standing up, Buck asked, "Do you mind if I look?' He was already reaching for the tag on the collar of her shirt.


"I guess not,"  a blushing Sara whispered.


"Aha, just as I thought. Made in China!" Buck announces, while Sara scrambles to put a considerable distance between herself  and our table.


"You embarrassed her," I chided

"I'm just making a point. We're buying everything from China. I suppose you know that the US Olympic team is wearing uniforms made in China."

"They probably cost less," I suggested.

"Maybe, but only in the short term. In the long term, we are losing good American jobs and our economy will suffer." Sara was refilling our coffee cups before making a hasty retreat. "And now we learn that when Mitt Romney was in charge of the Olympics in 2002, the US uniforms were manufactured in Burma -- a military dictatorship. Can you believe that? But wait, it gets worse. Some genius on Romney's staff tried to explain it by saying it was not Burma, it was Myanmar. These guys want to run our country and don't realize that Burma is Myanmar!"

"Shades of Sarah Palin," I said as Sara served our plates, all the time keeping a wary eye on Buck. The Wack-a-doodle Special must have been quite good; Buck chose to eat rather than  lecture me  about outsourcing American jobs.

As we were finishing off the last morsels on our plates, Buck said: "Speaking of predator capitalists,..."

"What predator capitalists? I guess I wasn't following the conversation," I interrupted.

"Mitt Romney and his buddies, of course.You know, the guys who use other people's money to make money for themselves. They're not like George Romney whose company actually manufactured something useful and employed people who could then afford to buy an American Motors car."

"I wonder what George would think of Bain Capital and the modern hedge funds?" I asked.

"I guess we 'll never know, but I suspect he would question Mitt's need for off-shore bank accounts in the Cayman Islands and Switzerland. This is the guy," Buck continued, "who destroyed public records when he left office as governor of Massachusetts. The same guy who refuses make public more than one year's  tax returns. Gotta wonder what he is hiding."


"More interesting than that," I interjected, "is that he can't decide when he retired from Bain Capital. What kind of job is it that one can't remember retiring. Most of us who had real jobs know exactly when we retired. We no longer receive a pay check, but apparently the paychecks just keep coming for people like Mitt."


"Better yet, his staff tried to explain away the problem by saying he 'retired retroactively.' I presume the gal or guy who said that is the same person who thought Burma and Myanmar were two separate countries."


Adding kindling to the fire, I pointed out that Ann Romney's answer to the request for tax returns was: "We've given all you people need to know."

"Typical elitist response," Buck said. "They think they are the 'deciders,'  as George W. Bush was wont to say. And what's this with 'you people'? That used to be plantation language, but I doubt she meant it that way, I think she meant "you people" to mean the other 99% of Americans who are not part of the elite. I find it interesting that the arrogant don't recognize their own arrogance."


When Sara presented us with our checks, Buck said: "I am sorry I embarrassed you earlier. It's just that I go crazy thinking that Mitt Romney could possibly be the President of the United State."


"That was a little embarrassing, but I understand where you're coming from. And by the way, I think you will be interested in a new item Nick is putting on next week's menu. Instead of flapjacks, we will be serving Mitt's Flip Flops, 25 varieties and counting."


 Buck and I now have another reason to load up on calories at Nick's.

Palin Better Than Romney according to McCain?

Since Mitt Romney is refusing to release the majority of his tax returns, some have hypothesized that John McCain chose Sarah Palin rather than Mitt Romney as his running mate in 2008 after examining  Romney's tax returns.. In an attempt to contradict that speculation, John McCain said: " I did not pick Romney  because Sarah Palin was the better candidate." 

Very interesting.

Did McCain think that Palin was more qualified to assume the role of President of the United States than Mitt Romney? Presumably that should be a candidate's primary concern when choosing a running mate.If that indeed was McCain's thinking, what does this say about Mitt Romney? In the course of the campaign, it became abundantly clear that Sarah Palin was not qualified to be the President. Again, what damning praise that is for Mitt Romney!


Of course, there is another possibility - a more cynical interpretation of what McCain was suggesting. Since he said, "Sarah Palin was the better candidate," perhaps he was implying that Sarah Palin was better for his lackluster campaign, qualifications be damned.  She was an attractive female with very little experience and presumably very little political baggage. She was a darling of that group of Republicans known as the Tea Party. If this was the case, McCain is admitting he didn't care about having a qualified running mate, his main interest was to do what is best for John McCain, not what was best for the country.

And then there is the issue of money. Perhaps this was John McCain's main interest. In 2008, the day after he announced Sarah Palin as his VP running mate, his campaign raked in $7 million in one day, Was Sarah Palin "the better candidate" because she fired up the conservative base to open their wallets?

Whatever John McCain meant with this statement, it does not speak well of his 2008 campaign or the 2012 Republican Presidential candidate.

GOP VP Sweepstakes: New Candidates

In an earlier blog, I offered Primary Mitt some suggestions for possible running mates (Rubio, Portman etc.), but now that he has used his Etch-a-Sketch and has become General Election Mitt, I am offering a new list of possibilities. Back then, I suggested Mitt had to avoid anyone with too much personality in order to avoid revealing his lack thereof, but these are desperate times for Mitt. He has to think outside the box and take some chances. Therfore, I humbly offer the following candidates for Mitt's consideration:


Antonin Scalia : This politician should never have been appointed to the Supreme Court. He is a politician; not a justice. He has been using the Supreme Court to espouse his Republican agenda, all of which would be appropriate if he were Mitt's choice for his vice presidential running mate. And then, of course,  President Obama could then appoint a real justice to the Supreme Court. As for his health care insurance, Mr. Scalia could take his present government-paid program with him. He enjoys that insurance; it's just that he doesn't want the rest of us to have it.

Donald Trump: Together, Mitt and Donald would be the ideal vanity ticket. Mitt's judicious use of Grecian Formula on his hair makes the statement, but Donald outdoes him with the died , combed-over look. Other than his vanity and his hair-do, it is doubtful that Donald would bring anything else to the ticket. The Republicans don't need another arrogant, out-of-touch billionaire.

Tim Tebow: What an opportunity for Mitt to attract those Christian Fundamentalists who have failed to warm up to him. Who can resist a photo of Tim in uniform kneeling on the field and praying that God will help him vanquish  his opponents. In addition,  he claims to be a virgin. That's a great talking point. He could possibly  be the first virginal VP candidate. There are also rumors that he is gay -- an appeal to the LGBT voters. In addition, if he and Mitt were the only two people in the room, Mitt could justifiably claim to be the smartest man in the room. But, you say, Tim is not qualified to be the President of the United States. I submit to you that Republicans have not worried about that in the past. Consider George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. The only problem I see with Tim is that he "dissed" Notre Dame Football. That may cost him two or three votes, but the bishops will campaign for anyone as long as it's not President Obama.

Marty Golden: Since the Republicans really need to do something about their "woman problem," Mitt may need a running-mate to mitigate the GOP's blatant attacks on women's rights and health care issues. Perhaps, Republican New York State Senator, Marty Golden is the man  for the job. He wants to hold a taxpayer-funded event for his female constituents called "Posture, Deportment and Feminine Presence." He promises to teach women "the art of feminine presence," which includes tips on how to "sit, stand and walk like a model." and "walk up and down a stair elegantly." Rather than pass the Fair Pay Act to assist women in the workplace, the GOP wants to teach women a course in 1950's etiquette with emphasis on walking like a model. What a great idea. I wonder why no one has done this before.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer: I personally think this could be Mitt's out-of-the-park home run. The GOP is anti-woman, anti-science, anti-sex. In one bold stroke, the New Mitt could turn that around. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a Sorbonne-trained psychologist and sexologist and host of several radio and TV sex advice shows, could change the GOP image overnight. In addition to being attractive to Jewish voters, she would probably be appealing to the core of the Republican Party which is obsessed with sex and what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms. The Wall Street Journal once described Dr. Ruth as a "cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse." Can't beat that. An intelligent, highly educated woman with instant name recognition who would be quite capable of serving as President! Perhaps the Romney camp could use a tag line she used to sign off her sex show, "Get some."

I realize the gun-toting Tea Party fanatics would like to nominate Ted Nugent; but, although Mitt likes Ted's support and money, he can't put such a nut case on the GOP ticket. Such a move would be worse than McCain's disastrous choice of Sarah Palin.

Hospital Safety Ratings

Fortunately, to date at least, I have not had the questionable experience of spending much time in a hospital bed, but I realize such visits will be a part of my life in the future. That being the case,  I was very interested in the article, "How safe is your hospital?" in the latest issue of Consumer Reports (August, 2012).


Hospitals were given an over-all safety score with individual ratings in four categories: Infections, Readmissions  (within 30 days of intitial discharge), Communication (staff explains new medications and discharge planning), Scanning ( CT scans that are ordered twice for the same patient, increasing exposure to harmful radiation). In addition CR considered a set of eight adverse events, " including bedsores, collapsed lungs, central-line-associated bloodstream infections, and accidental punctures or cuts during surgery, as well as four post-surgical complications, hip factures, blood clots in the lungs or legs, and the reopening of wounds."


 I have had several friends whose lives were seriously impacted by infections they received in hospitals, and I was particularly interested in that category since the primary cause of those unnecessary infections is carelessness on the part of the the hospital personnel.


All of that being said, This is a list of how the Hospitals in the Toledo area were rated:


Hospital                                 Safety Score           Infections    Readmissions         Communications      Scans
(scale: 1=best, 2= above average, 3= average, 4=below average, 5=worst)  


Flower Hospital             65                      2                 3                   3                           1 
Toledo Hospital             64                      1                 3                   2                           1
Blanchard Valley           63                      1                 3                   4                           2
St. Rita's (Lima)             61                     1                 3                   4                           2
Mercy Tiffin                    58                      1                 3                   3                           4
Mercy/St. Vincent          58                      2                 4                   4                           1
Mercy/St. Anne              56                      5                 3                   3                           1
Van Wert County           56                      1                 3                   3                           4
Lima Memorial              54                      3                 4                   4                           1
St. Luke's Maumee       54                      1                 4                   5                           2
Bay Park (Oregon)        53                      3                 4                   4                           1
Bryan Community          48                      4                 3                   4                           1
Mercy/St. Charles          48                      3                 4                   5                           1
Wood County (BG)        46                      4                 4                   4                           2 
Fremont Memorial         41                      3                 3                   3                           5
UT Med. Center             28                      5                 4                    5                          3 


I found it somewhat shocking that the University of Toledo Medical Center, a teaching and training facility, was at the very bottom of all the Ohio Hospitals listed. I would have expected University Medical Schools to be the leaders in patient safety. Obviously I was seriously mistaken.


I went back through the list and searched for other University Hospitals, and was surprised at what I found:

University Hospitals Geauga Regional Hospital (Chardon)   48
University Hospital Cincinnati                                                    42
University Hospitals Case Medical Center                              41


On the other hand, Ohio State University Medical Center (Columbus) fared better with a rating of 55 -- near the middle of the Ohio group. Also, the OSU Med Center was the only University Hospital to have a better than average infection score.


Someone needs to explain why University hospitals are ranked so low.

(If you were curious about Cleveland Clinic, it was near the bottom with a safety rating of 39. If interested in other Ohio Hospitals  or those of other states, please consult the August, 2012, Consumer Reports article.)


                             
                        

Bishops and the "Catholic Exemption"

The Catholic bishops of the U.S are waging a political campaign under the guise of a perceived threat to religious liberty. In addition to the question of the appropriateness of a religion running and funding a campaign with an obvious anti-Obama overtone, there are other serious issues with such a campaign.


The most obvious issue is that the bishops are raising the specter of a big bad government taking away their religious liberty when in fact they are insisting that they are entitled to a "Catholic exemption." Since they insist on maintaining that contraception is immoral, they do not want to provide reproductive health care benefits to their employees, Catholic or non-Catholic. But rather than deal with the issue of contraception, they are trying to frame it as one of religious liberty.


Why do they avoid the issue of contraception? Probably because they have yet to provide a rational defense of their position. They wish to be "exempt" from the rules because they "BELIEVE" contraception is immoral. These are the same people who, before Vatican II, "believed" it was a sin to eat meat on Fridays. At one point the Catholic hierarchy tried to defend their anti-contraception position by appealing to something called, "Natural Law." Unfortunately for them, one has to take it "on  faith" that a natural moral law such as they describe exists. Therefore, they are arguing that they are opposed to contraception based on a belief which is based on another belief. Granted the bishops are entitled to believe whatever they want, but if they want to dictate their beliefs on the rest of us, they will need a rational explanation. Lacking that, it is no wonder they are trying to restate this as a religious liberty question. As they also seem to have forgotten, Vatican II exhorted Catholics to follow our own consciences.


And then there is the issue of a "Catholic Exemption." They want Catholic institutions, even though they receive public funds, to be exempt from providing reproductive health care as required by the law. The exemption would be based on their definition of Catholic belief. Why just a "Catholic Exemption?" What about a "Muslim Exemption," a "Mormon Exemption,"  a  "Scientology Exemption," or a "Jewish Exemption?" All of these exemptions would be based on what these groups claim to believe. They would not have to offer rational defenses of their beliefs, they would simply have to say they believed this, that and the other. Perhaps the survivalists could form a religion which believes taxes are immoral. A"Survivalist Exemption?"  


Unfortunately we know that all kinds of human behavior has been justified in the name of religion. Wife abuse, polygamy, female circumcision, honor killings and self-mutilation. Society cannot be making "exemptions from the rule of law" because some religious group simply says that this is what they believe.


Perhaps the Catholic bishops will sometime in the future decide that eating meat on Fridays is once again sinful (and considering the current hierarchy's desire to ignore Vatican II, that's not totally beyond what is likely) and therefore public school lunch programs should not be allowed to serve meat on Fridays.


The bishops should return to the Gospels and refrain from playing power politics. Of course, if they did that, they may have to confront the idea of separation of Church and State; for as Jesus said to the Pharisees and Hypocrites: "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." (Matthew 22) 

Not All Sports are Real Sports

With the Roger Clemens' perjury trial nearing its end, sports fans are now learning that the  multiple Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong, is being accused of "doping" by some reliable sources and former team mates.

The use of performance-enhancing drugs in athletic competition leaves many of us feeling cheated and wondering, to what degree are cycling and baseball real sports? Since as fans  we cannot distinguish between real athletic ability and chemical-induced performance, perhaps these two sports belong in a different category --Tainted Sports -- and listed at the back of the sports' pages.

On the other hand, performance-enhancing drugs are not the only problem fans have to consider. The apparently incorrect scoring of the Pacquao-Bradley boxing match in Las Vegas presents another category of questionable sports -- Subjectively-Scored Sports. There is no doubt that boxing is a challenging athletic competition, but the subjective scoring decisions of a few referees render  the outcome suspect. Whether it is diving, figure skating, gymnastics, or water ballet, Subjectively-Scored Sports deserve a place at the end of the Sports Pages near the Tainted Sports.  It is difficult for sports' fans to recognize a Russian figure skater as World Champion as a result of a suspicious score from French judge.

And then there is the whole category of  "Motor Sports" -- a strange amalgamation of drivers, engineers, mechanics, and machines. If the machine's performance is so vital to the outcome, perhaps it's not a true athletic competition or event. We need another category  at the end of the Sports Pages -- Mechanized Sports.

Having eliminated the above categories, fans are left with appears to be Real Sports -- athletic competition with the result being determined primarily by the physical skill of the participants. And finally there activities that cannot be justified as sports -- Not Sports Category.

Given these categories, the Sports Page might look like this:

Real Sports:
Archery
Badminton
Basketball (with drug-testing guidelines)
Billiards
Bocce
Bowling
Cow Pie Hurling
Cricket
Dog Sled Racing
Skiing (when elapsed time determines the winner)
Field Hockey
Football (with drug testing guidelines)
Golf (walking, of course)
Ice Hockey
Lacrosse
Ping Pong
Long-distance Running
Racquetball
Rugby
Soccer (ignoring some subjective officiating)
Tennis (with drug-testing guidelines)
Volleyball

Tainted Sports:
Baseball
Cycling
Horse Racing
Softball
Swimming
Track and Field
Weight Lifting

Subjectively-Scored Sports:
Boxing
Diving
Figure skating
Gymnastics
Juggling
Martial Arts
Snow-boarding
Wrestling ??

Mechanized Sports:
All Motor Sports
Most wheel chair-assisted sports
Golf in a motorized cart ??
Quidditch (those flying broomsticks are not energy efficient)

Outdoor Sports:
Canoeing/Kayaking
Catfish Noodling (Google it)
Fishing
Hunting
Hiking
Jogging
Sky Diving

Not Sports:
Bar Hopping
Body Building
Beer Bonging
Corn Hole (can't use those two words together in a newspaper)
Hot Dog Eating Contests
Rock-Paper-Scissors
Swim Suit Contests
Texas-Hold-Em Poker
Watching Women's Beach Volleyball

I always thought I was a sports fan, but considering the above categories,  I find I excel at the "Not Sports," (with the proviso that my "Body Building" is all about bulking up in all the wrong places).

Gang of Five Rips "Dem" from Democracy

Last week my friend, Buck, had a vision which he wanted to share with me at our weekly breakfast. We met at Nick's Diner on Bancroft Street at 9 AM, and he shared the details of his  "vision." As I enjoyed my Boston Breakfast, Buck provided the following soliloquy:

Nobody else knows this, but I want you , my friend, to be the first to know. Last night after Scott Walker survived a recall vote in Wisconsin, Chief Justice John Roberts held a conference call with the four other members of his "Gang of Five."


Speaking of Walker's victory, Robert said to the others, "Now that's what I'm talking about! Tonight's results are the reason we became activists and passed  Citizens United, Those with the money prevailed. This is the new version of democracy. Thanks to our work, the wealthy can now manipulate democracy. We're not like Vladimir Putin who manages democracy with the use of KGB tactics. With our five votes on the Supreme Court we have provided the extremely wealthy with the power to control the country."


"Right on," exclaimed Clarence Thomas. "That's why they spent all that capital to get us on the Court. And it's only just that we, in return,  give them what they want."


"Wait a minute there, Clarence," interjected Justice Alito. "We can't let the public think we made that decision based on politics. In our confirmation hearings we suggested we were going to be fair and impartial 'umpires,'  just calling balls and strikes as we saw them, but not writing the rules as to the definition of a ball and strike. Now of course, in Citizens United we did rewrite the rules, but we cannot admit that or the political motivation of the decision."


"And in all due deference to your outspoken honesty, Judge Thomas, it is best that you continue to refrain from speaking in court hearings, if you know what I mean?"


"Don't take that in the wrong way Clarence," Roberts said. "We appreciate the ties you and Justice Scalia have with  conservative Republican organizations. That is very helpful to the cause; it's just that we want to maintain the facade of impartiality as long as we can."


"Screw impartiality" Justice Scalia shouted. "God has given us this opportunity  to manipulate democracy to fit His vision for the United States. We know the framers of the Constitution wanted to seperate Church and State, but this is our opportunity to redefine democracy. This is our hour. Carpe diem. Who knows what will happen if we get more women and liberals on the Court. God forbid! It is in our hands to redefine democracy and although we made a good start with Citizens United, there is much more we can do. For starters, we have to shoot down Obamacare."


"Wait a minute,"  Justice Kennedy said. " You guys are suggesting replacing democracy with plutocracy. I am confident that the Founding Fathers would not have agreed with you.  Secondly, and with all due respect, I  must ask what our role is as Supreme Court Justices. When we took the oath of office, we swore to uphold the Constitution of the United States which requires us ' to promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.' I repeat, it says the 'general Welfare,' not 'the Welfare of the wealthy.' As for promoting partisan politics, that is the very thing the Supreme Court was to avoid, and is contrary to our oath of office."


"Yada, Yada," interjected Justice Thomas. "Save your pious postering for the press. I was placed on this court by people who had expectations and being the grateful soul that I am, I will accommodate their  agenda."


"Clarence, you a man of few words," Justice Scalia said, " but you get to the heart of the matter."


"Wait a minute, guys," Justice Roberts said. "I am the Chief Justice and I do not want to be remembered as the 'umpire who was a fan of the winning team'."


"Fine John," said Alito. "You can use all your pious platitudes to make it sound as if you're impartial, but the people who gave you your job-for-life have expectations. Find a way to have it both ways, but make sure the GOP agenda prevails."


By this point, I had finished my Boston Breakfast, but Buck's Country Skillet was barely touched. He called the waitress over and asked her to take it away. When she asked what was wrong with it, he said the Country Skillet was fine, but the country itself is doomed. When she started to suggest an alternative, I motioned her away and asked for both checks. Perhaps Buck was still hungry, but I was satisfied.

Graduation Wishes Remain the Same

As our neighbors' daughter, Drew, graduated from Ottawa Hills High School, my thoughts returned to the day my daughter, Bridgette, graduated from Notre Dame Academy, and I recalled what I had written on that occasion. Back then, blogs were unheard of, but today in 2012, on Drew's graduation,  I can share the same thoughts I had on Bridgette's.


It is a wish of mine
      on this graduation day

That you may continue the search,
      knowing the prize is often elusive..
That you may continue the struggle,
      knowing victories are often hollow.
That you may achieve peace,
      knowing it is temporary.
That you may build love,
      knowing it will need constant attention.
That you may climb the mountain,
     knowing you must descend.
That you may build an Eiffel Tower,
      knowing it will rust.
That you may write poetry,
      knowing it will be misunderstood.
That you may soar into space,
      knowing the danger of re-entry.
That you may give birth,
     knowing it is the beginning of death.
That you may design a cathedral,
      knowing another is designing a bomb.
That you may embrace life,
      knowing that it too will pass.

And, it is also a wish of mine:
      that you will laugh more
              than you cry
      that you will win more
              than you lose
      that you will create  more
             than you destroy
      that you will pray more
              than you curse
      that you will hope more
              than you despair
      that you will love more 
              than you hate.

And, if I may have one last wish,
      may it be this:
      that you always hold your head as high
      as it is on this commencement day.

Say It With A Song: Top 40

Sometimes a good song title captures the spirit, and sometimes a bad song title speaks the truth. Since I was unable to think of any good titles, I am sharing "The Top Forty" bad song titles. Perhaps some actually speak the truth.

The titles appear in no particular order; for how can one impose order on the ridiculous?

Purposeful Ignorance by the Creationists
Send in the Clowns by  the Tea Party
Nothing Pays Like Lobbying Congress by The K Street Boys
Have to Love the GOP, They Let us Write our Own Regs by The Exxon Frackers
I Love Firing the Maid by Mitt Romney and the Job Killers
Elected Offices Available to the Highest Bidders by the John Roberts Quintet
It's Good to be Filthy Rich by Mitt Romney and the One Percent
You Betcha, We  Love Guns and Money by Sarah Palin and Clan
I Can't Dump Trump by Mitt Romney and the Desperados
Frack, Baby, Frack! by John Kasich and the Lemmings


Males Were Made to Rule by Benedict's Bishops
The Audacity of Obstructionists by Barack Obama
Show Me the Way Home by George W. Bush and the Neocons
Keep 'em From Voting by Rick Scott and the Exclusionists
Can't Stop Loving You Evangelicals, You're So Easy by Karl Rove and the Panderers
Who Told the Nuns They Have God-given Rights?  by The Hierarchicals
Damn the Butler! He Revealed our Financial Shenanigans by the Vatican Bankers
We Were Just Kidding About Wanting Your "Tired and Poor"  by  The Mitch McConnell Quartet
Ohio is For Sale to the Highest Bidder or Best-Connected by Kasich and the Kochs
What Happened to Abe, Teddy, and Ike? by the Real Republicans

Another Day, Closed Another Factory by Mitt and the Bain Boys
Mamie, Please Tell Me I Didn't Choose Nixon by Dwight Eisenhower
Doesn't Everyone Have a Car Elevator in their Garage? by Richie Romney
Please Don't Make Me Cry Again,  About Nothing! by Speaker John Boehner
It's All About Rhythm  by  Cardinal Nolan and the Rhythmettes
If It's Not White, It's Not Right by the Tea Party and Skinhead Alliance
Women's Role in Life is to Reproduce by Rick Santorum and The Otherwise Confused
Global warming Is a Myth by The Science Deniers
Money is Democracy by the Roberts' Supreme Court Faction
The Holy Spirit Never Showed Up at Vatican II  by the Catholic Revisionists

We Need That Damn Berlin Wall in Arizona by Governor Jan Brewer
God Helps the Priveleged by the Stinking Wealthy
Where's My Etch-a Sketch? I Have to Change My Position Again." by Mitt and the Flip-Floppers
Science Sucks! by the Flat Earth Society
Damn, I Thought Democracy Was Free by the No-Taxers
Mommy, May I have Some More Pink Slime? by the Beef Boys
My Ancestors Worked Hard for My Money by The Inherited
What Did He Expect Wearing a Hoodie? by the Vigilantes
Who's Afraid of a Little Flammable Drinking Water? by the Koch Bros.
We're All For Women Suffrage, If They Suffer In Silence by Catholic Bishops

This list is far from complete. If you would like to add a title, please do so in the "comments."